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Better then what it seems

SO FYI my Dad is doing better. The doctor's think with the heat in Arizona and his lack of drinking water made him collapse in the back yard that made him sick. In my last post my family and I wasn't sure what could had happened but thankfully it's better then what it seem to be. My father doesn't have the best diet on the planet and he thinks he still can eat Mcdonald's over the age of 60 like he use to do in his twenties. Sorry Dad but it just doesn't work that way I'm afraid. All and all though I'm very happy he is doing better.

On another front I've been doing well in my college courses that I signed up to do for the summer semester. It has been since 1997 since I have been in college. I actually was pretty scared to go back. Thus far though in my reading class I haven't gotten less then a "B" in any test or homework assignments. Most of the students want my phone number so I can help them on their homework. I must say I'm pretty proud of my feat not bragging by any means but very pleased. My second class is a writing class and so far so good nothing less then an "A" words can't express how exciting, encouraged I feel for doing a good job.

My best friend and I had a falling out a couple of weeks ago. It was in regards that I couldn't come over to talk or hang out with her because I was doing my homework. I told her that I have a lot of things I have to do for class. She couldn't understand even with that why I didn't have time for her. I basically told her with school and everything else I have going on I have to take care of my business right now. This doesn't mean that I don't love or care any less about her but I have important things to do instead of worry about her drama. To say the least that didn't go over very well and she threw up somethings in my face. I told her in a kind but stern way that a true friend wouldn't do that and I true friend is going to say "No" sometimes and that she is just going to have to understand. I guess it's easier for someone that is established and has a good paying job to do whatever they want. I'm trying to establish myself by going back to school and looking for a good job so I too can afford to do things. I know that day will come I told her but I need time to get these things taken care of. A few days went by and I got the rest of my belongings from her house to move in with Ray and we had a nice talk. I think she finally understood where I was coming from. I don't believe though she is cool with it but she is willing to be more understanding. I told her I just can't be there all the time and it's time that I grow up and do things for myself and not rely on other people. I think it made it harder for her when I have lived with her the last year and two months. Now that I'm going to school, looking for a good job and moved in with Ray she felt left out and ignored. Living with family or best friends aren't a good mix I have discovered....LOL 

So far so good with living with Ray though. It's been about a week and things couldn't be better. I enjoy laying beside him on a daily basis when it's time for bed. I like cooking dinner for him, washing the dishes, cleaning the apartment and making him lunch for work. Not all the time I can express my feelings toward him in words but these actions from my point of view shows him my dedication and commitment to him. I hope that he sees that I do this because I want to make him happy but at the same time that I enjoy doing them. It brings me great joy to do these things and he has let me without any hesitation. Ray means the world to me and I just want him to see how much in my actions and my words when I can express them. I know he hasn't had the best experiences in the past with boyfriends. I have heard all the stories from him and his friends. I think he is starting to see that I'm so different then the others and that one day soon he will be able to trust me 100 percent that I'm into him as much as I say that I am.

Last but not least.... I'm a little depressed with the whole job situation. I keep applying and getting nowhere with them. It's so frustrating to me and I want to contribute more then I am. Ray has been great with the matter but I guess it's a guy thing why I feel this way. I know things will turn around but I just hope it's sooner then later. Mentally I'm drained and I'm worried about how things will turn out. Though I'm confident that things will turn out better then what it seems.


What a great post! Reading it made me feel good.

Being in love lets us show the best side of ourselves, all the way up to, down to, whatever, making somebody a packed lunch.
Thank You

October 2012

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