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Love will never do (without you)

I might not be the brightest star in the sky. Nor do I claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed... You get the point ...LOL

Though I can also promise you I am unique and wonderfully made and that I know. I am by no means perfect but when I fall in love with someone it's for keeps... period

I don't know how many of you guys know Ray and I on a personal level or how your conclusions of us are due to our post. I will say that Ray is the most "Straight" gay guy that I have ever dated... LOL Now that does pose to be a problem for me. Being I am gayer then he is use to and not much experience with those Straight boys.... things can be a little hard to navigate in our relationship. Sure I made a couple of mistakes that hurt his feelings but by no means was it EVER on purpose. I LOVE THIS MAN without condition and "Love will never do (without you)" Am I going to make mistakes in the future? You can beat your sweet ass that I probably will...LOL I don't claim to be perfect at all.

I say this because this is in response to his post today, "It was bound to happen eventually" we actually had our first real fight I guess you could say today. Now, I'm not going to make light of the two situations that bothered Ray at all. I'm not in the business of doing that to people. I will say that I have since apologized for them until I can't anymore. I was blind what I did and how it truly got under his skin. After a year of dating and only having two major issues happen is a pretty damn good feat. Though just like Ray there is no need on a pat on our backs, kudos or anything of that nature.

Sometimes for me talking to Ray about things seems like I'm on an episode of "Lost" and I don't say that being mean or disrespectful but a way for me to learn. Like I said above... I don't understand how his "Straight" thinking works at all. I'm learning but it's a trial by error I'm afraid but I am willing to learn. The only real problem that I have if there is an underlying issue with the two situations that got to him like they did. I want him to just tell me the "root" cause. Keep bring up the situations and how it bothered you but not sharing the underling key issue isn't going to help me grow as a person and learn how not to do that in the future.

With that being said though. I now know the underlying issue that took sometime to come out. I didn't know that was the real problem. It breaks my heart for him to think or even feel that way about himself or that I would cause him to feel or think that way. Again, there is nothing that I wouldn't do for this man. I would move heaven and earth if that would let him know how much that I LOVE HIM. Well it's obvious that I can't do those things so all I can continue to say is that I LOVE YOU, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, I WANT YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE, I WANT US TO BE SUCCESSFUL INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS A COUPLE. I will say this until I am blue in the face or six feet under. Ray your the last one that I want to love and your the one that I can't live with out. I also don't know what I would do without you. Because in my mind like the Janet Jackson song goes..... Love will never do (without you)... period!!!



October 2012

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